Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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