I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
