Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
