sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize