So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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