what day is it and did you see me today?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
