you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
