Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
