Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
