Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize