He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he puts the penis in happiness.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
