well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
