I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think my mom watched the whole time
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
