The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
