I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if only i could text you this smell
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
