He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
