Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize