booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
