I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
