Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
