There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize