I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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