He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize