Do you still have your period?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
