Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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