your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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