I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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