Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
