Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
