Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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