OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
