I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
