clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
