We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i now understand why vodka
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I need to align my fucking chakras
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
