I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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