There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
