i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
