Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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