Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
