I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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