come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
