I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
