her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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