belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
