my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize