and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
