I just cut my nipple shaving
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
