she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
