so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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