I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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