I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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