We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she woke up with a sticky ear
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
