please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
