I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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