My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
plz talk dirty to me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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