I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
