I think I am morally bankrupt
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
