He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize