He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
