butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
