i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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