I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
