i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize