Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
