So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
