It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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