problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
